I've got this ASDA bargain sheet and I can't decide which of these sweets to get. Toblerones, Miniature Heroes and I do like the Celebrations. What's your favourite Gregor?

I'm not fussy; I'll eat any of them

Actually I was thinking that we could really tell the Christmas Story using sweets as helpers, save me a lot of time drawing pictures, and much tastier than a picture.

What are you on about?

For example, those wise men were real Smarties, weren't they? They managed to follow a star and get to the right place and on time-much better than Scotrail or Easyjet.
And they must have had a Marathon of a journey from the East.

So you mean that when the Caesar decided to tax everyone, he sent out a decree -that's an ancient document with lots of Curlywurly writing on it. And because he was such a powerful, mighty, Mars Bar of a character, everyone obeyed in the Twix of a moment.

Now you’ve got it.
So every time we say the name of a sweet shout out and tell us.

So there was a chap named Joseph who was engaged to Mary. They were in love and when they met they talked in Wispas. But Joseph was none too pleased when Mary told him that she was pregnant and he wasn't the father.

And Mary tried to explain the cosmic baby-making. God had chosen Mary to be the mother of the Son of God,
and before she could say Chocolate Coated Peanuts
she was pregnant.
And poor Joseph. Well his brain was like Marshmallows and he had to take Time Out and have a lie down.

As he slept, he had a dream
and an angel explained everything
and soon this became as clear as Fox's Glacier Mints.
And when he woke up
he decided to have a Worther's Original,
to remind him of the good old days.

Now getting back to this decree and all the Curlywurly writing-¬Caesar came up with the idea of getting everyone to go to their family home town-not the best of ideas. His ideas really lacked Starburst quality.
So Mary & Joseph had to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem-an 80 mile journey,
over stony hills which were Crunchie under foot,
and when you are pregnant its no bed of Roses.

They arrived in Bethlehem well After Eight
and there was no room to be had,
not for money, or even your last Rolo.
Poor Mary, all tired and worn out
and possibly craving for some Truffles, for all we know.
And where do they end up?
In a smelly stable, beside the animals,
definitely not your Quality Street.

And that was where the baby Jesus,
the King of heaven was born-this Bounty of God,
this unique child who could name each Galaxy
came into our Pick'n'Mix world.
In the fields nearby
some shepherds were looking after their sheep.
These chaps lived uncomplicated lives
and liked nothing better then to gather round the fire at night and talk about their family and work.
A Ripple went through the air,
and then a Double Decker of an angel appeared
and the shepherds screamed,
went Flaky at the knees -they were scared witless.

However, the angel was used to such a response-
it goes with the job.
The angel told them not to be such a bunch Malteeser’s
and get down to Bethlehem and see the baby,
the Saviour of the world.
Once they had regained their Marbles, they began to compare notes and one said, `Right lads, the last one to Bethlehem is a Toffee Crisp.' And away they raced.

And they found the baby just as the angels had said.
By now the shepherds were as happy as gorillas on a lorry of bananas.
They became the first century equivalent of the Internet,
their only Topic of conversation was the baby
and the message from the angels, it was truly Divine.

And then those Smarties from the East come to visit
but before that, they go to Herod's palace.
He was the king and a right nasty bit of stuff.
He was evil, devious, unpleasant
and permanently on a short Fuse.

At times though Herod could be a real Turkish delight
and so charming
like a fox hosting a very good barbecue to which he's only invited chickens!
Anyway, he was charming to the travellers from the east
and hid the Black Magic of his character.
These men had crossed Toblerones mountains
dusted snow Flakes from their faces
and gazed into the night sky to follow the Star.

These men weren't called Smarties for nothing, they were wise men-All Gold characters and they knew that Herod was up to no good and had no intention of visiting the new king.

Yes, Herod was extremely dangerous to know.
Not the type of person who would give you his last Rolo
or share his Chocolate Orange.
He would do anything to remove anyone who might stop him being King.
And while the Wise Men went off to Bethlehem,
Herod sat in his sumptuous palace,
seething and plotting and grabbing handfuls of Jelly Babies and biting off their heads¬
a terrible sign of what was to come.

And in a dream an angel warned Joseph to escape. So, faithful Joseph and courageous Mary, took their precious child and fled to Egypt. They were now homeless refugees.

After Herod died; they came back and returned to Nazareth. The child grew up and had many adventures-he was a hero and he gathered lots of Miniature Heroes around him-but all that came later and that is another wonderful Selection Box.

So Christmas is all about miracles. Dreams, angels and most of all about a King, whose entire wealth consists of us! We are the King's delight--¬now that is worth a pile of Celebrations!